God Never Promised the Sky Wouldn’t Fall
Plus, a new Monthly Special on Clairvoyant Counseling! $50 sessions for the theme of the month. July is “Procrastination and Phone Addiction” *gulp*
Ever done a fourth step inventory in a recovery program?
I’ve done a few at this point; they get more fun as you go along but they sure don’t start that way. The fourth step (“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”) is intimidating as all get out and it’s the one where folks either dive in or stall out.
The first time I did one my sponsor instructed me to write a list of all the people I was angry at, had a resentment towards, held grudges for, or otherwise wouldn’t be happy to see in public spaces. She also told me to include institutions (the IRS, the police, the government, my college administration, etc.) that I felt deserved a shitty letter from me.
That first inventory list was 164 names long.
When I finished the list, my sponsor gave me a worksheet where I wrote out what I was angry about, how it threatened my pride/finances/self-esteem/etc. and then a “what was my part” section that I was offended to even have to look at. These people had wronged ME. What part did I have in their terrible choices?
But through my sponsor’s love and support I became willing to at least try that section and discovered that I did indeed often play a very large part in my own resentments. Thus, the drinking/acting out to hide the shame and embarrasment of it all.
Feeling overwhelmed with resentments 164 names long? Let’s take a look in a Clairvoyant Counseling session.
When I was done, my sponsor looked over my list and told me I had missed two; myself and God.
Now, I was already a minister at this point so I couldn’t believe that I had any resentment towards God. I loved God for chrissakes! But again, with her gentle encouragement, I began to write some (what I thought to be) made up reasons I might be angry at God.
Turns out I was furious at God. I was angry that people didn’t love me or treat me the way I thought they should. I was pissed that my body was a certain way and my face didn’t look like hers (don’t worry, I now love who I am and how I look). I was upset that some things seemed to come easier to others. I didn’t think the world valued me, or saw me, or especially didn’t like me and I really thought that was all God’s fault.
But what was my part in all these things that seemed to be God’s fault?
I realized that I thought I was God. I was ‘playing God’ as they say in the rooms. Which simply means that I thought I knew best how the whole world and everyone in it should go. And if/when things didn’t go well, I tried to make all kind of meaning out of it.
Maybe it meant that God was punishing me, or abandoning us as a species. Or maybe that God was trying to teach me some lesson, that I hadn’t done someting well enough, or was wrong somehow.
But I remembered something a professor in seminary told me when we were discussing the many names of God. He said, “God never promised the sky wouldn’t fall. She only said She would be there if it did.”
Feeling punished by the divine, like you’re stuck in a cycle that never ends? Let’s clear it up in a Clairvoyant Counseling session.
That holy name was Immanuel, meaning “with us is God.”
I’m sure you, like me, have had the distinct feeling recently that the sky is indeed falling. Things do not seem to be going well on this planet. And so, as I did in my fourth step inventory, I’ve begun to examine my feelings and expectations around God again.
The Buddhists promise us that life is suffering, full stop. The Hindus tell us that we will return again and again to suffer as we grow and learn as souls. And the Hebrews say to us that no matter the suffering, God will be there with us.
This Hebrew promise - Immanuel - is the one Jesus used to point us towards the Kingdom of Heaven.
Can we see, in the midst of this insane mess we’re in, God-with-us? Can we look at each other and see Spirit Herself in the eyes of our enemies? Can we witness the destruction of everything we’ve known and perceive the luminous presence of the Divine no matter what?
When we can, says Christ, then we will be living in the Kingdom of Heaven, the place where all is God and Christ consciousness illuminates every holy and disgusting alike.
It’s a tall order, this seeing God-in-All, but it’s the one I know we need right now.
And it’s my invitation to you this week. As you look upon the chaos in its many forms and flavors this week, look with the eyes of Spirit. See the essence of pure love in your worst enemy. Feel the hand if God always at your back as She guides you through the temple of 10,000 demons.
As my teachers have taught me, the worst thing is never the last thing. The sky may fall but it will be lifted again. Have faith, dear friends.
Need support for the end times? Let’s work on it in a Clairvoyant Counseling session.
Monthly Special - July is “Procrastination and Phone Addiction”
My teachers say when I give a healing I get a healing. And boy do I need some healing on phone addiction! We all like to joke we’re ‘addicted’ to our phones but I’m feeling kind of like I did before I got sober.
If you’re also struggling with phone addiction this month and want to work on this with me, book my new Monthly Special service for the (truly) ridiculously good price of $50 for 30 mins.
Here are the upcoming themes
July - Procrastination and Phone Addiction
August - People Pleasing and Self-Denial
September - Sleep Issues
Plus, I got married! Tune in next week for my reflections on that.
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Artwork? Images are unknown. Third image is me, I got married!
