Fear is a Terrible Higher Power

There are a lot of things I like to make my Higher Power over the course of the day. I’ll usually give my sanity and serenity over to traffic, a friend who didn’t text back right away, my partner multiple times a day, the way my clothes fit, people who want my attention, people who don’t want my attention, political happenings of all kinds, the past, my own resentments, and worst of all, fear.

As I’ve written before in different words, fear is a terrible Higher Power. What do I mean by that? I mean that when I decide that fear is telling the truth about the world and my life, things get very small and very limited. For example, fear would have me think that my mistakes make me unloveable, that what other people think of me determines my worth, or that what is happening in our country politically is the only thing happening now or that will ever happen in the future.

But faith says different. Now when I say faith, I don’t mean blind hope or naive belief in a God that will fix everything. I mean a deeply ancient and incredibly wise practice of knowing that God is God, that She never promised us the sky wouldn’t fall but rather that She would be with us if it did, and that She is still absolutely speaking and I must not forclose on her miracles or possibilities that may be just around the bend even if I am scared out of my wits today. Because I am.

So what do I do? I seek out life-giving theology. Now there is certainly what they call in some circles a metric shit ton of death-dealing, life-stealing, dangerous and fatal theology out there. Much of it spritually (and literally) funded the recent supreme court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. But that doesn’t mean that’s the only theology out there.

I promise you there is an epic flood of life-giving, anti-oppression, anti-racist, pro-female, queer, celebratory, inclusive, expansive good ass theology all around. This includes people like Lucille Clifton, Rosemary Radford Reuther, Ivone Gebara, Emilie Townes, Kwok-Pui Lan, Kim TallBear (oh my god Kim TallBear!), Barbara Brown Taylor, and more.

And though I will always be a student of these black, brown, and indigenous women theologians I also want to add my water to the river of Life-Giving Theology. How will I do that? Through teaching life-giving scripture of course, and most of it for a good long while will be all about women.