The Kingdom of Heaven is the Most Real Thing
“Descent into Hell” by Kateryna Shadrina
(Content alert: unpleasant descriptions of death and dying.)
I’ve had the truly great fortune of witnessing over a hundred people go through their dying process.
It’s the most interesting, beautiful, informative thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve learned a lot about life from watching people die. The first is that our relationships are more important than we think. The second is that it’s very good to be outside as much as possible connecting with nature. That’s about it in terms of really important life lessons.
But I also learned that people die how they lived. So for example, I’ve met people who were very task oriented, took care of all the household bills, and made sure everyone got to their appointments.
Those people often die in a very methodical and orderly fashion. And when it’s time for them to finally go, they won’t do it until they’re assured that someone else is going to pick up the slack.
I’ve seen people die beautifully; full of love and curiosity.
One woman who was devoted to spiritual seeking her whole life did that right up to the end. I only met her 2 days before she died but as soon as I came in the room she took my hand and asked me about myself.
Another very private woman who I was always curious about had a rich inner world evidenced by all the paintings of her garden that she still worked on even in the depths of dementia. When she died I actually saw her get younger; relaxed wrinkles, rosy cheeks, and even a slight smile.
Christ in the style of Kerala mural paintings
And then there are the gruesome deaths for people full of meanness, denial, abuse, and hatred.
I worked with a 43-year old alcoholic whose liver was kaput and who blamed everyone else for how much he drank. He drove away all his visitors with insults and throwing salt in old wounds. When he died his face became ghoulish and his skin turned army green. I truly prayed for that man’s journey.
Another former high society woman who’d verbally abused her children ended up in a shitty nursing home with open skin cancer and teeth rotting out of her face. She refused to accept dressing changes and the smell was so bad we had to move her roommate out of the room. I got ahold of her children just once and they hung up as soon as they heard the purpose of my call.
As Minneapolis is being overrun by the KKK Gestapo (née Jim Crow), I keep thinking of this one man.
He was a former Sheriff on our hospice service for 6 or 7 months. He had done everything by the book, obeyed his own law, raised a family as best as he was able, and was still terrified at the end.
Whatever he had encountered over his years in law enforcement had made him angry, paranoid, and volatile. As he came closer to dying the demons got louder and he surrounded himself with guns; on the TV table, next to him on the couch, in a loose holster across his chest. We had to call ahead to ask his wife to put them away for our visits.
I heard from the nurse that in his final days he wasn’t reaching for beloved relatives come to greet him from the other side. He was arguing with and shouting at all the people he had killed as his blood pressure spiked and a heart attack threatened to kill him before the COPD could.
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When Renee Good was shoot, I immediately thought of the kind of death that man would have.
In fact I walked right up to the edge of actually wishing that for him, knowing it would be 1000 times worse than that Sheriff. I almost let myself dance with the demons who will certainly torture him not just when he dies but truly all along the way until that moment. And beyond.
My teachings tell me that someone who does that kind of violence has lifetimes - maybe hundreds of brutal lifetimes - ahead of them undoing that karma. So whatever I could wish on him or any of the ICE agents - not just for white deaths but also the 32 brown and black deaths last year - they’re already doing worse to themselves.
What matters for me, for all of us, is that we don’t join them in their hell realm.
Especially because it’s so easy to do. It’s so easy to be disgusted, to hate, to wish violence on them, to long for their destruction, to grab hold of the evil they’re possessed by and curse them with it. It’s so easy to rage, to despair, to be overwhelmed by horror, and to become sick with grief.
It’s easy to imagine a near future doing the same kind of violence to them, or sending money for someone to do that, or cheering the violent defenders on as heroes and protectors. And who knows, I may well pass through that bardo and find out all about it myself.
Stencil art found in Seattle, WA, Artist Unknown
But what I really need right now is the already realized Kingdom of Heaven within.
What does that mean and why is that so important? Well all the teachings I study - Buddhism, Sanātana Dharma, Christianity, and more - tell me that the most real thing isn’t this world or all the choas within it.
The most real thing is the Kingdom of Heaven. the realm of Sat Chit Ananda; ever-existing, ever-conscious, ever-new bliss. Spirit Herself and the material from which we are made. This, the masters say, is the most powerful reality that always wins out. The seed within us that cannot be stopped from growing. The open door that no man can shut.
And as Jesus told the ones looking for outward evidence of Kingdom Come, “The Kingdom of Heaven is within.” That’s us. We carry the portable paradise wherever we go; into the courts, the protests, the streets, and the prisons.
This is our true essence, our true home, our only reality, and our greatest weapon as we face some really fucked up evil having a hay day on the planet right now.
So however you resist and fight against the perversions of facism and ICE, do it with your feet planted in the Kingdom of Spirit.
Don’t let yourself get rooted in the demonic realms of hate and horror that these folks have committed to living and dying in. Do it from the Kingdom; the place of eternal liberation for all souls, boundless joy in all hearts, and unfuckwithable spiritual power for all beings.
History tells us we have a long road ahead. Let us direct that road out of hell and into the already/not yet reality of Love; the Kingdom of God within.
Hang in there friends.
C
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