Enough Time, Enough Money, Enough Love

We’re living through a scarcity paradigm right now, though thankfully that is changing. Scarcity paradigms basically look like, “Not enough for you, barely enough for me, never enough for us.” They look like the privatization of land, water, air, and space. They look like non-stop extraction of resources to make single-use goods; plastic cutlery, holiday gifts that get thrown out by January, clothing that lasts a couple washes then falls apart at the seams. A scarcity paradigm looks like the monetization of time (yes, this from a pomodoro/time-chunking method user) and rushing around our lives even though we have more ‘time-saving’ devices than ever before.

In my personal life, a scarcity paradigm looks like the manifestation of three incredibly scary fears; the fear of not enough time, not enough money, and not enough love. And there is so much in the world conspiring to make those fears appear more and more real. It’s also a devastating reality that for many people on the planet there truly isn’t enough love, money, or time. So is it any wonder that the scarcity paradigm has spread its tentacles well beyond it’s proper bounds, that it’s become not just a pervasive reality but almost a religion with the mantra “Not Enough, Never Enough, Not Enough” repeated over and over until it’s all we see and we let ourselves be totally governed by scarcity?

Obviously this is a huge subject to cover but I’m committed in my own life to looking these three fears in the eye and getting very clear with myself about where they are a reality and where they just aren’t. For example, even though I often have just enough time for what I need to do today I still rush around, overcommit, break promises, run red lights in traffic, and ignore moments of intimacy with my beautiful partner so I can squeeze in just one more to-do item.

Or even though I have enough money for the food I need today, I still hoard money, overwork to get more of it, cut spending in places where I really need spending (the dentist and doctor!) and overspend in places that make me feel richer than I am (hello Etsy!).

And the things I do because I’m afraid I don’t have enough love? Wow, just wow.

One of the things I do with my clients is to listen carefully for one of these three fears. It’s not always the case, but often enough the real thing that needs tending is a fear of not enough love, money, or time. Even though these fears manifest in particular (and usually invisible!) ways for many people, once they’re revealed for what they really are we can begin to address what’s really going on.