The Gift of Being Someone’s Villain
Ever been the villian in a story? I sure have, more than I can count. I’ve been the hot young freshmen in the college dorms stealing someone’s crush and running for made up offices (Student Sheriff!) in student governement.
I’ve been the troublemaker employee who you wish would just shut up; i.e. the one who points out all the safety violations and threatens to call OSHA. I’ve been the guy in traffic who cuts you off and doesn’t care or even notice. I’ve been the neighborhood eyesore who lets her weeds get seven feet tall and go to seed.
I’ve also been people’s personal villians too, sometimes fairly sometimes not. I’ve been the unwelcome interloper in a tight social circle. I’ve been the pushy drunk who causes drama wherever she goes. I’ve been the hyterical ex-grilfriend still trying to control your dating life. Oh yeah, the list goes deep.
But the worse is when I haven’t done anything other than just be my (truly!) lovely self and I still end up a villian. Is there anything more frustrating than someone who thinks you ruined their life, who shuns you, who refuses to see your side or even try to understand you?
Are you someone’s accidental villian? Book a Clairvoyant Counseling session and let’s see what’s going on below the surface.
Here’s the first hard truth about being a villian; there’s usually nothing you can do about it. In fact, the more you try to fight it, the more you seem like a villain.
But here’s the second truth about being a villian, one that’s much softer. It actually means you’re doing a great service to whoever cast you in that role. What is the opposite of a villian? A victim, at least to start. And then eventually a hero.
Now that victim to hero process doesn’t always happen that quickly, and sometimes doesn’t happen at all. But if you’re a good villian, you can usually help someone along that path.
You see, I’ve been a victim way more often than I’ve been a villian. I totally get the deliciousness of believing that someone else has ruined my life, stolen my girlfriend, got the job I want, made the money I actually deserve, gotten the supermarket checkout lane that was mine, ended up marrying the person that was meant for me, and just generally deprived me of the life I deserve.
Honestly, I’ve wallowed for years under the reign of some serious villians. Until I realized this one powerful thing; there’s an expiration date on how long I can blame my past for my present. And it expired long ago.
Stuck in victim mode, suffering from a past that no longer exists? Book a Counseling session or purchase a package for deep deprogramming work. It’s the best way to get truly free.
The best villians in my life have done just one thing and one thing only; ignored me completely and gotten on with their life. At first this seemed like a true villian thing to do and just fed my anger (read; victimhood) even more.
They didn’t continue fighting with me, they didn’t argue with me about whether or not they were my villian, some of them apologized but most didn’t, and all of them just kept going on their life path, with or without me.
Does this mean that anyone who’s hurt anyone else should just ignore it an move on? Hardly. Real harm needs to be addressed and healed.
But most of my villians were simply cast in that role by my own victimhood, or in other words, my belief that I wasn’t powerful, loveable, and worthy. And they had nothing to do with that. The truth is, I needed those villians to face the parts of myself that held those beliefs.
In fact, on a soul level all of these people agreed to be my villian so I could have the full victim experience and see just how truly empty it is. It took some time but I’ve slowly begun to realize that no matter what happens in my life, no matter what’s taken from me, or what I’m deprived of, or how I’m hurt, there is NOTHING that can ever touch my worthiness. I am and always will be pure unblemished whole wheat Spirit.
And I am so grateful to my villians - aka my greatest teachers - for showing me this. I bow before you and I thank you.
Clairvoyant Counseling
Whether you’re the victim or the villian, it’s usually never as simple as that. Let’s work together and see what the underlying agreements are so you can update them and truly be of service to your partner in the victim/villian dance. Here are some villian agreements we could unpack and heal together
Family villains; addicts/alcoholics, queer folks, artists and creatives
Societal villians; whistle blowers, activists, corporate execs, police and military families and people
Gendered villians; promiscuous women, rage-filled men, stay-at-home moms, workaholic partners
Whatever your villian flavor, you’re doing a great service to the world and I’d love to work with you to illuminate it and bless it so we can all reclaim our worthiness together.
15-minute Complimentary Call to discover if my services will fit your needs
60-minute sessions are for working with multiple issues or in-depth support on an issue that you’ve been working on already and need external support for.
30-minute sessions are best for one to two issues that need immediate support.
Four-Session Coaching Package includes four Clairvoyant Coaching Package to be used over 8 weeks from time of purchase.
Additional Support Package includes four Clairvoyant Coaching sessions, three 15-minute calls to be used at your discretion, and unlimited texting during working-hours over the course of 8 weeks from time of purchase.
Looking forward to working with you!
Want to know more about the art? All images are hyperlinked to the artists’ websites, or as close as I could find. Both images are from my newest obssession; Peter Koenig.
Thank you so much to folks who forward and respond to these newsletters. I love hearing from you and hearing that you’ve shared my work. Good theology matters!
