How to be Undomesticated
I’m a gal who loves her comforts, and so I’m always on the hunt for a good massage. I’ve got a few people I return to over time, a few folks I worked with intensively for short periods, and plenty of terrible experiences.
I had one massage therapist actually sigh and moan a little bit during our massage. I wanted to ask, “Oh is it good for you too?” I had another massage therapist check her phone - multiple times - during the massage. She was working my shoulder in one spot for so long that I lifted my head a bit and could see her holding the phone. And then there are always the folks who can’t tell bone from muscle and end up massaging my scapula instead of my actual shoulder.
Here’s the real problem though. Up until last night, I’ve let them do it. Why? Because the programming I carry in a cis-female body is to keep my mouth shut and pretend like everything’s fine even if I’m being physically hurt. Maybe especially if I’m being physically hurt.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve laid on a massage table grimacing, dying to say something, but frozen and completely unable to speak up. For a long time, I considered that a personal failing. What kind of feminist was I who couldn’t just say “Ow, stop, no thank you.”
It wasn’t until a few years ago when I started my clairvoyant training (along with a healthy dose of training in chaplaincy, pastoral care and ministry) that I learned this behavior is called programming. And that shit goes wayyyy deeper than intellectual feminism and heady theology. That shit is in the bone, the very marrow.
Programming, you see, is that deep voice of a structurally oppressive society that speaks to you from within. It’s the emotional, spiritual, mental mechanism that has people police themselves out of fear of societal consequences if they don’t. And these consequences, make no mistake, are severe. We all know (black, queer, trans, brown, migrant, indigenous) women who have been killed for speaking up when they’re being hurt.
In need of some deprogramming? Book a Clairvoyant Counseling session and let’s see what’s got you bound up.
And that’s how programming works. My massage therapist isn’t going to kill me. They’re usually women, too. But programming isn’t logical and doesn’t care about those details. It just wants to control me. It’s based on fear, based on rules, and of course based on the threat of punishment.
But a miraculous thing happened last night. After years (lifetimes?) of work deprogramming myself, learning about personal truth and power, teaching others to deprogram themselves, and of course just living through a pandemic that did it’s best to tear down our programming from the inside, I finally got free of my Bad Massage Programming.
The massage therapist wasn’t even in the office til 5 minutes after the appointment. She was flustered and rushing. After we discussed what we needed she left and I got undressed and lay on the table…for 8 minutes. I know it was 8 minutes because I kept checking the clock. And finally, I just got up and left.
It sounds obvious and simple written out like that but I cannot tell you the enormous amount of Women Do As They’re Told programming I was clearing in those 8 short minutes.
Even more miraculous, as I walked out of the office and the therapist came running down the hall from wherever she was and started stammering apologies, I didn’t give into the Make People Who’ve Hurt You Feel Ok About Hurting You programming either! And oh it was tempting.
I just said “I’m leaving, this isn’t a good situation. Good night.” And that was it!
So what does it mean to be deprogrammed. It means being wild, as in undomesticated. It means being completely free to respond to the moment in exactly the way that’s right for you.
Programming takes many shapes and forms. Book a Counseling session or purchase a package for deep deprogramming work. It’s the best way to get truly free.
The other thing about deprogrammed, undomesticated people is that they are very, very dangerous. They are liberated. And there’s nothing more dangerous to a system that relies on internally bound people than someone who has slipped those bonds.
So that’s the work I’ve been doing lately. Both for myself and each and every client I meet with. If you’ve ever found yourself bound up, frozen, unable to speak even when in terrible pain, and then beating yourself up afterwards for ‘knowing better’ you just might have some programming.
But remember, dear reader, you deserve to be free. Your spirit is undomesticated and wild and that’s the truth of who you are.
CLAIRVOYANT COUNSELING
There’s all kinds of ways we program each other including (but defintely not limited to!):
Familial programming - “Don’t talk about the alcoholism”
Religious programming - “Don’t ask questions”
Gendered progamming - “Men don’t know how to clean”
Racial programming - “Insert any racist thing here”
You deserve to be liberated from your programming, whether by working with me, or another skilled practitioner. Know that I hold you in my prayers always and keep open the field of miracles and all possibilities for your great freedom and healing.
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30-minute sessions are best for one to two issues that need immediate support.
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Looking forward to working with you!
Want to know more about the art? All images are hyperlinked to the artists’ websites, or as close as I could find. Top Image is by Wang Yiguang. Bottom image is “The Truest Song” by Jesse Balmer.
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