Don’t Furnish the Rut
One of the most surprising things about seminary was meeting people who actually loved Jesus.
Like, the living man, not just the heady theological metaphysics of Christ consciousness. One of those people was my very dear friend, Rev. Ashley, now a UCC pastor in LA. When I first met her she used to say things like “I love Jesus, He’s my best friend,” and I thought she was being glib.
So I’d laugh thinking we had a little inside joke, but I soon realized that, no, she actually loved Jesus like a best friend. I eventually stopped laughing when she said it, and internalized my bewilderment and some (totally mis-placed) judgment.
Gradually that changed to curiosity and I began to wonder what it felt like to love a man who lived 2000 years ago but was somehow still totally present today.
Fast forward to today when I try to casually mention Jesus every 23 to 36 minutes.
I’ve also written extensively about my Jesus Journey, and actually just had a super fun podcast interview with Hanna Williams of Gracepilled talking all about it. I’ve also learned to listen t0 folks who love Jesus like a bestie. They ususally know something important about spiritual intimacy.
My husband and I also joke that we have an open relationship except Jesus is my primary partner. And I mean, we joke…but it’s very real. Heh. Heh.
This week I’m remembering something else Rev. Ashley always points out to me.
Just as Jesus went into the desert for 40 days, just as Moses crossed the desert for 40 years, we also go through dry spells. Sometimes my faith is luminous and the presence of God shines out at me from every crack in the sidewalk.
And sometimes I’m bored as hell of spirituality and put more faith in YouTube cake fail compilations than anything that might actually help me.
The tricky thing with dry spells is it’s really hard to predict when they’ll end. Some of my dry spells have resolved with a good night’s rest and presto I’m good as new.
But some wilderness dry spells last so long they start to become habit.
Folks, I’m currently there. The scriptures seem flat. Mary Oliver just seems to repeat herself (when is she ever gonna shut up about the miracles of nature already?). And I try to meditate but just sit there wondering if those enlightened masters were actually pulling our legs about the whole eternal consciousness thing because the only thing I’m conscious of is pins and needles in my foot.
I’ve been trying to hide it because I have a story running that says “Ministers should always be spiritually connected.” So in addition to a dry spell, I’ve begun shoulding all over myself. Yeesh, what’s a girl to do?
I’m reminded of something a very pithy mentor once told me: If you get stuck in a rut, don’t furnish the rut.
So the other confession I have to make is that I have, indeed, furnished this rut. Instead of listening to the sound of the creek near my house, I constantly fill my ears with BBC News podcasts; a surefire way to drown out Spirit.
Instead of giving myself time to learn (new songs, new spiritual practices, new anything medieval theology), I watch old episodes of Great British Baking Show and delude myself into thinking I’m learning about baking. But folks, I bake twice a year and it’s cake mix and sprinkles.
So I’m writing because maybe you’ve furnished a rut too.
It’s only human. We love a furnished rut. But I’m hoping that in making this confession and giving you permission to be stuck, too, we can get out of it together.
One of the ways I always get out of a rut is singing (More below!) and I’m doing that tonight. I’ll commit to going and listening to the creek today to hear the real news from Spirit. Maybe I’ll actually bake that cardamom rose Persian love cake. Maybe I’ll go sit outside and see what Mary Oliver is getting on about instead of trying to find nature in a book of poems, even if it is really good poetry.
But I’m gonna need help after that and that’s where you come in. Tell me, friend, how do you get out of the rut? I truly can’t wait to hear.
In Spirit,
Rev. Cindy
SING ANYWAY! FINDING COURAGE THROUGH SONG
You don’t have to be a “good” singer to be a powerful one. Join us for Sing Anyway: Finding Courage Through Song, a 2-hour singing workshop for anyone who feels the call to sing in dark times.
Together we’ll do guided vocal exercises, heart-centered group singing, and time for reflection. You'll leave with more singing confidence and at least 3 simple songs to carry with you into the world.
August 18th 6-8pm at Columbine UU Church
September 11th 6-8pm at First Unitarian Church of Denver
Cost: $25 general public, $12 Church Members
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